We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
