You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize