I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
