Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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