escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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