Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
