Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Congratulations! We have a period
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
