TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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