I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
