Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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