she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
