Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
