Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
