Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.