K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.