those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
