On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize