Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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