if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Green mimosas i think yes
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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