Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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