and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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