im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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