I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry about my life...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize