Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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