You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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