She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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