My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
