you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You smell like a Billy Joel song
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
