In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
