I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
