Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
