I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
