the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
