Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
