I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
