I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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