why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
