I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
