please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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