the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize