did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
