i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
