ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
