We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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