you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.