There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."