No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?