Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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