I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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