Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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