why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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