I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
