dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
