i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
