i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
