how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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