i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
