we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
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Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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